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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Can I call you Friend?

It always amazes me how people come into our lives.  A friend commented on yesterday's post, and I responded to her request to not only check out a particular post of hers, but also to stop by and visit someone elses blog.  

As I read Nancy's post An Unexpected Self-Discovery, I realized that I felt as strongly as she did about the blogging world.  In the months since I started this blog, I have come to know so many wonderful people.  Some, like me, are grieving the death of a loved one, still others, grieve the losses attributed with illness, and others simply read along in the hopes of helping a loved one or a friend.  Whatever the reason for reading mine, or anyone else's blogs, is irrelevant, what is very apparent, are the bonds that are created.  Few words are often exchanged, but yet there is a certain compassion, understanding and just a simple hello that lets me and others know that we are not alone.  That someone else is willing to walk with us on the journey, to helps us with our burdens, even if only for a brief moment.

I stated in a comment that I left, that I have come to see so many of you as an extension of my family, as one of my own.  What a wonderful blessing and I thank God everyday for the gift of friends, whether they are right next door, or are someone who has simply come into my life through this blog from half way around this wonderful world.  

I thank you for allowing me to share my daughter, Rachel with all of you, for bearing with me as I bare my pain, feelings and confusion with you.  There is nothing more humbling than too open oneself up to others, to allow others to help you, to be vulnerable, admitting that you can not do this alone.  I look forward to your responses, to your insights, to recommendations and advice, your many gifts have helped.  

Yes! it is definitely possible to build friendships and relationships with individuals we may never meet.  According to All About God, True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.  This is what I have come to know, I have found that so many fellow bloggers give of themselves freely, expecting nothing at all in return.  They share their inner most feelings, thoughts, emotions, with a sense of trust.  They are doing something for others, they are sharing their journeys, and in doing so help so, so many people.  

Grief is not an easy journey, whether we are suffering from the death of a loved one, the realization of what an illness will mean in our lives, are recently divorced, or have suffered any tragedy or loss that has left us grieving, we want someone to hear us, to listen.   And there is definitely a comfort in knowing that we are not alone, that someone else understands, cares and wants to be there for us.  Even if that someone is a faceless voice, sharing themselves with the world, sharing themselves with us.  

Right after Rachel's death, I sought out blogs that spoke to grief, that shared their stories, especially as it related to the death of a child.  I established some friendships that are still a part of my life today.  Many I know I will not get the opportunity to meet, but yet they have left an undeniable mark, they have left their foot print on my heart.  They were and still are a reassuring presence in my life.

Cherish your friendships, allow them to nurture you, to guide you, or to simply hold your hand.  Remember always that 'Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.' -- John Evelyn and more importantly that, 'Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.' -- Swedish proverb

"I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

Blessings! and until we meet again.


  1. Lovely post Rose Mary...

    I feel exactly the same way about the blogging community, people who I shall never get the opportunity to meet have guided me through some of my darkest times and offered invaluable advice. I'd be lost without them at times.

    Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and your beautiful Rachel with us....
    Thank You for simply being you

  2. Carole Thank You.

    My inspiration came from Nancy's Point. Her post made me realize how important our bonds can be, even if they are miles and miles away. Like you I have found much comfort in the words of others, the reassuring remarks, and just in the knowledge that maybe just one more person, feels reassured by our simple words.

    I have come to know so many beautiful people in such a short time. For me, you are all wonderful treasures that I can now include in my amazing 'friend' collection. A collection, that for me is more valuable than gold or any other precious gem.

    Thank you as well for being a part of my life, and of sharing, YOU.

    Love, Rose Mary xoxox

  3. Rose Mary it is always a good thing to acknowledge and show appreciation for those who form the golden chain of friendship.
    It is my time spent with 'cyber' friends that gets me through each day. Although we may never have that coffee face to face, I do speak to several on the telephone and I hope soon, via Skype.
    Friendship makes life worth living.
    Thank you so much for your contribution and for sharing yourself. You are loved and appreciated.

  4. Chez thank you and you know you are also loved and very much appreciated. I am always in awe of what can begin to happen with the simple click of a button; not only does the world become a smaller place, but amazing things begin to bloom. I have come to look forward to the exchanges that take place via the vast cyber world, and the beauty that is felt with the heart. We do not need to be face to face, to feel and understand the compassion and depth of someone's caring. Simple words sometimes say more than anyone could ever imagine.

    I have found acceptance, compassion, understanding and love in ways that only those of us who blog, chat or communicate via the internet have come to know. It is a gift and a blessing, which I cherish and look forward to.

    Besides what would we be without 'friends.'

    Hugs, Love, Rose Mary