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Friday, December 10, 2010

'There is Love'

We trust that beyond the absence;
    There is a presence.
That beyond the pain:
    There can be healing.
That beyond the anger:
    There may be peace.
That beyond the hurting:
    There may be forgiveness.
That beyond the silence:
    There may be the word.
That beyond the Word:
    There may be understanding.
That through understanding:
    There is Love.
                       from Gates of Prayer

There is Love!  What a beautiful expression of what our loved one means to us - There is Love.  According to, love is defined as: noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. –noun - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  - a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. - a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. - affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. 

Love is what we personally know it to be, what we feel for those who are important in our lives.  Be they physically present day to day, living far away, or deceased.  These individuals make up our understanding and perception of love and all it entails.  When someone we love dies, they may no longer be a presence in our lives, but they are very much a part of who we are.  They helped form and shape us, and as children (even adult children), we are an extension of our parents love.  

The opening quote for me speaks of all we go through in our grief.  We want to know they live on, even if we can no longer see them.  We hold on to the fact that healing follows pain, that calm is a given after the storm, and that true forgiveness can blossom from our hurts.  I know and have come to understand that through the silence so much is heard, and from this that love is ever present.  

Of course, this is my interpretation of this prayer, but you too can equate it to what you are going through at the present.  Especially during this time of year, when grief seems to grip ever so tightly on our hearts, refusing to let go.  It is when I have sought out the positive to whatever negative thoughts are vying for my attention, that I have been able to look beyond my own grief.  It is this process of 'looking for the silver lining' that has helped me cope and move forward.  I have always been told throughout my life, and more particularly when I worked in the medical profession, that your outlook on life makes all the difference in the world.  

It doesn't mean that you walk around wearing rose colored glasses all your life, but that you look for the good in the bad situations.  Recently my husband and I were talking about some of the things we have survived together.  Several years ago we had a fire in our home, it left us homeless for over 4 months, we were shaken, but the most important thing, was no one was hurt.  Everyone was able to get out unharmed.  When we talk about it now, we are actually thankful, it took care of much needed repairs.  Rachel's death has given me new awareness, has helped me grow personally, and has truly been pivotal in my life.  The blessings in her death: the gifts she has left me, the legacy she shared, and a love that was truly unconditional, a love that will last a lifetime and beyond. 

There is so much comfort in just knowing this, and believing that we live on through our love.  That the memories are a gift of love, of times cherished and remembered, of the beauty of their life, and how it is reflected in ours.  This doesn't lessen the pain, but it sure helps with the healing.  Our sorrow can be turned into singing and dancing.  Seah Sarfe Kodesh expresses a person's sorrow in three levels, the quote:  There are three ways in which a person expresses their deep sorrow: the person on the lowest level cries; the person the the second level is silent; the person on the highest level knows how to turn their sorrow into song. 

My hope and prayer for you, is that you can find the song in your own sorrow.

Blessings! and until we meet again.


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