'Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign'

I'm on the highway heading home after a terrific dinner with friends, and I notice all the traffic. Wow, it's late usually by now there is only a handful of cars out, especially on a Thursday evening.  Then I remember, we have a hurricane heading our way and people are evacuating or cutting short their vacations and heading home.  

All you heard today was about the chances of us getting a storm, people talked about it at work, they would continually update you on the radio.  The TV news channels made sure you got minute by minutes details of this storm and what the anticipated trajectory will be.  All these warning signs, on the local beaches, news flashes and marine warnings, all trying to tell us something.  As I continued to drive along I really began to notice how many signs there are out there.  This one tells you how fast you can travel, that one tells you to watch out for the bump, another warns you that there is road construction.

Wow, we are so dependent on signs to point us in the right directions, tells us where we are, how far before we get from here to there, and so on.  If these directional signs aren't enough, then there are all the billboards, telling you where to eat, get a cup of coffee, stay for the night and what medical facility is best for you and your medical needs.  I have never considered counting before and I am sure I would loose patients after about fifty signs.  But I had never really paid attention to all the signs on this 15 minute stretch of highway.  

I started wondering what life would be like if we had clear cut signs like those on the side of the road.  When you take your first baby step, expect to fall.  The first time you ride a bicycle you may not be able to stop.  If your friends do not want to talk to you take this turn up ahead.  Could you imagine if there was always an answer to all life's improbabilities.  If this happens, push this.  When that happens, move two steps.  Oh, when that takes place, take the nearest exit.  

It seems silly, but how often do we wish life came with a manual, with some signs giving us direction.  Telling us which path to choose, what career will really work for you, and what relationships you should foster for the minimal amount of hurt and pain. 

But, alas, this is life we are talking about, we don't get signs, there are no warning sirens, no news flashes, just day to day experience.  We may encounter someone who has been down a certain road in life, who may gives us some advice.  Another person may become our mentor, guiding us through our career choices and still another may know just what the right words to say when you are facing difficulties.  

But when any of us suffers a loss, whether it is due to death, divorce or other form of separation, we do not know where to begin, let alone try to figure out in which direction to go.  We seem to be on a long stretch of road without any signs and no apparent means of exiting.  We travel for mile after mile unsure of where we are, who we are and what is happening.  We look for signs telling us this is okay, you will survive, you are not alone, you are loved, anything to reassure us. 

When we grieve, we so want a sign that lets us know we are normal, it's okay to respond and act this way.  We try to measure our progress against what is written in a book, what the experts are saying on-line, what the expectations are for the grieving period, etc.  We try to conform to everyone elses expectations for us, we watch for cues and respond according to their reactions and needs.  

I was home for a year after my daughter died, I was useless, I couldn't focus and trivial things would set me off.  Issues seemed small and insignificant considering what I was going through.  As time went on I  looked for signs indicating that I was ready to go back to work, and I could deal with more than just getting up in the morning and surviving another day.  It took me a while even after going back to work to try to get into a routine, into a 'normal' life again.  

Even if we had warnings and signs, we would still have to travel the roads that are chosen for us.  Whether we are suffering the the loss of a loved one, a separation or divorce, or any other life altering experience that leaves us grieving, we would still react as we do, move ahead at our own speed and take whatever turns we need to.  We need to allow ourselves to fully grieve, to allow this loss to be comprehended, and to learn acceptance and to accept the graces that come our way.  

There are signs in life, they come in the form of family and friends, they are the rising and setting sun, they are rainbows and butterflies.  They are all around you, letting you know you are not alone and letting you know that even though life isn't fair, and it doesn't play by the rules, you will be okay.  So embrace the signs in your life, accept your own personal interpretation of these signs, and allow them to offer healing.  Life's signs will lead you on in the right direction, give you the push you need to keep on going, and the encouragement to know that you will be okay.  

There is a song by a band I enjoy listening to Train that I believe says it all.  

Here are the lyrics to 'Calling All Angels', from their album My Private Nation:

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you can feel the world shake from the words that I said

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels

And I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up
I won’t give up if you don’t give up 

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
Cause my tv set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don’t disappear
While private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing queens and losing sight of having dreams
In a world where all we want is only what we want untill it’s ours

And I’m calling all angels
And I’m calling all you angels
And I’m calling all angels
(I won’t give up if you don’t give up)
And I’m calling all you angels
(I won’t give up if you don’t give up)
Calling all you angels
(I won’t give up if you don’t give up)
Calling all you angels
(I won’t give up if you don’t give up)
Calling all you angels

Blessings! and until we meet again.